


Give 'Em Hell, Kid

by dr_isiandra



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alternative Universe-Warden to Modern Earth, F/M, Fade Rifts, I always think about how I'm going to tag things, More tags will be added as I write this, Thedas Character in Modern World, and then I absolutely fail at it, oh explicit language yeah Blythe is a potty mouth
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2016-12-02
Packaged: 2018-09-06 02:26:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8731153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dr_isiandra/pseuds/dr_isiandra
Summary: Blythe Faulkner works in a high-security science facility that contains a huge ass green hole in... something. She works on researching where it leads and preparing tools to acclimate any beings that come out of it. Not that anything has, yet, and she's starting to doubt that anything will.
Cue Grey Warden Alistair Theirin. He comes through the hole on Blythe's day off and she gets called in to acclimate the poor man to Modern-Day Earth things.
Will Alistair ever get to go home? Will he ever want to? Will Blythe get over her fear of romance?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this is my first time posting a fanfic... EVER! I'm slightly terrified, but if you really like it, please let me know because I want to continue this if people are really into it. I'm usually really bad at continuing things and I need motivation!
> 
> That being said, I will also take plot suggestions and if anyone feels like they want to beta for me, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!
> 
> Enjoy this blurb!

Blythe sighed as her phone buzzed on her coffee table. “Dammit, Chrissa I just sat down to eat!” She muttered, putting her bowl down and picking up the phone to answer. “What is it?”

“You’re not gonna believe this, Blythe, but we need you down here ASAP for some expertise and a debriefing.” Chrissa’s voice urgently rushed through the speaker. “It’s urgent, please come quickly.”

“Alright I’ll be there in ten.” Blythe ended the call and went to go cover her food, snagging a few bites as she did so.

 

*****

 

When she arrived at the science facility, she sighed. It was a hassle getting through security even though she worked here. She briefly wondered what happened as she tossed her stuff in her office and headed towards the main room. “Chrissa, I’m here!” She bust through the door, stopping dead in her tracks as she spotted the man in a suit of armor on the floor in front of the rift. “What. The hell. Happened.”

“He came through the rift unexpectedly. We tried opening it, which we were successful for all of the ten seconds it took this man to fall through.” Chrissa sent a look of pity at the unconscious figure. “He’s not alien, we’ve already done scans for that. But we wanted our resident expert on the unknown here to help us when he wakes up. Also you’re the best to acclimate him to the modern world if he didn’t come from a renaissance fair… Oh don’t give me that look Blythe! It wasn’t my decision!”

“I don’t even have my life together, what makes them think I can acclimate an unknown to this world?” Blythe shook her head and sighed in resignation. “Alright. Hey you!” She pointed at the closest intern. “Please go into my office and grab the mp3 player labeled ‘Calming Shit’.” She paused. “And maybe the one labeled ‘Modern Shit to Acclimate’. Hurry.” The intern ran off as Chrissa laughed.

“You not only have an mp3 player set for acclimating an unknown, but you also use the word shit in all of your labels? How do you not get in trouble with Jeff?”

“Jeff doesn’t care as long as children don’t see the labels. Which they probably never will.” Blythe shrugged, moving slowly towards the unknown man in the set of armor. “Did no one think to make him comfortable while he’s unconscious? Are we all barbarians!?” She turned to face another intern. “Get me a rolling cot from the storage room. Also bring a pillow and blanket. You!” She pointed at one of the security guards in the room. “Help me get his armor off. Intern with the music!” She saw the intern with her music had returned. “Plug in Calming Shit and keep it at a moderately low volume. It’s already on shuffle.”

The security guard was at her side when she turned, causing Blythe to jump. “Oh! Thanks for being quick. Do you know anything about plate mail? No? Alright well, I guess we’ll have to be careful.” Blythe and the guard slowly removed the man’s armor, placing each individual piece separately on a cart to be scanned for material from the rift. When the intern with the cot returned, she had the guard help her get him into the cart. She covered him with a blanket and pulled a chair up next to him, studying his face.

He had very light red hair, cut short and kind of wild. She noted slight freckling on his cheeks and nose, but they were light, almost the color of his hair. She moved to study the rest of him. He was rather muscular and it seemed like he was taller than average men.

“Blythe, I don’t think your rainbow colored hair would be the best thing for an unknown in medieval clothing to see…” Jeff stepped up beside her. “He might cry witchcraft.”

“Jeff, we have beeping machines in this room, as well as music playing from nowhere. What _wouldn’t_  be witchcraft?” Blythe shot back, rolling her eyes. “Besides, we have his weapons. We searched him while removing his armor. Now shoo. You have more important things to do while we interrogate the unknown. Like paperwork for the media and government.” She smirked as Jeff glared at her and left.

The unknown groaned, moving a hand to his head. Blythe signaled for the music to be turned to an even lower volume. “Ugh, my head. Where did I land?” He slowly opened his eyes, which widened further once he had taken in his surroundings. “What the…”

“Welcome to Earth.” Blythe said, smiling gently. “My guess is you’re not from Earth at all.”

“No, I don’t even know where or what Earth is. Funny name for your location by the way.” The man massaged his head. “It’s not another continent near Thedas is it?”

“No, it’s a planet. I take it you haven’t figured out planets yet? I could be wrong though. Your world could be much farther along than I assume. I am Blythe. I will be taking care of you and acclimating you to this world while we figure out the rift. Possibly to send you home. You probably want to go home.” She realized she was babbling, though that was nothing new. She did that a lot.

“Not really. There’s nothing much for me over there anymore and they probably all think I’m dead anyway.” He shrugged. “I lost the love of my life to an archdemon and the Queen hates me despite me not even wanting her throne. I was trapped in the Fade trying to help the Inquisiton, and now I’m Maker knows where.” He looked up at her and gave a startled look at her confused expression. “You have no idea what I’m talking about?”

“No, I don’t. What is your name? Let’s start with that.” Blythe smiled. It was clear the poor guy was overwhelmed.

“I’m Alistair. I’m a Grey Warden in Ferelden.” Blythe pulled out a pad of paper and started jotting this down. “You’re not making me off to be crazy, are you? I’m not crazy.”

“No, you’re not. We have no flipping clue what this rift is, what it does, and you’re the first thing to ever come through it. The fact that you came through two worlds to get here is not crazy, but rather fascinating.” Blythe smiled reassuringly. “If we decide you’re insane I’ll be the first to break the news.”

“Thanks… I guess.” Alistair looked at her pad. “Why are you writing then?”

“So I remember it all. I’m not going to remember everything you tell me and I want to be sure we get details right. Details are important here.” She stifled a yawn. “Hey, intern on the music, switch mp3 players please! And stay there. You’ll be the DJ” She smiled as the guitar riff for “No Sleep Till Brooklyn” by the Beastie Boys sounded through the speakers.

“Didn’t take you for a Beastie Boys fan,” the intern smiled.

“I’m full of surprises.” Blythe grinned, before turning back to Alistair who was looking around frantically, trying to find out where the strange sounds were coming from. “We have electronic music. Science is a big thing here.” This caused Alistair to laugh.

“Why do you need science when you have magic?” He continued to laugh, only stopping when he realized she was serious. “Do you not have magic?”

“No, do you have magic then?” When Alistair nodded, Blythe made notes. “Tell me about how magic works, then.”

**Author's Note:**

> What do you think, should I continue with this half-assed plot? Is it good? God, I hope it is!


End file.
